Mean Mommy Syndrome

After putting my son in time out because he was jumping on the chair for the second time, about to hurt himself, I heard him mutter under his breath, “Mommy’s Mean! She never lets me do anything.” With that gruff, he turned his little lips up, scowled to himself, and pouted for a minute before I turned in his direction.

“Son, do you not have a happy heart right now?” I know it seems like an out of the blue crazy question, but in my usual fashion, I asked anyway.

A brief moment passed before he answered, but he finally grumbled, “Yes, I have a happy heart.” It took another 30 seconds or so, but after that affirmation, he stopped grimacing, stopped whining, and sat up straight. He finished his time out, we had a brief talk about actions, consequences, rewards, and his heart.

The quick history behind my question is that we are teaching our children that their actions carry consequences or rewards. I don’t choose their consequences or rewards, they do!

A happy heart is about learning to understand and deal with controlling one’s self even in the most negative of situations. When we learn how to control our emotions, mind, and physical bodies, we will ultimately learn that our choices have placed us in many of the situations we find ourselves (both positive and negative). By developing a happy heart, we will find that our outlook leans more towards the positive, than towards the negative. We begin to seek solutions as opposed to focusing on the problem or what we cannot do.

On the other hand, I almost enjoy being labeled a “mean mommy.”
1. It is the mean mommies of the world that set a standard and don’t back down from that standard.
2. It is the mean mommies of the world that expect and push children to achieve greatness and reach their full potential.
3. It is the mean mommies of the world that love unconditionally and command respect.
4. It is the mean mommies of the world that get looked back on with reverence when the child matures and life’s lessons are absorbed. The child sees the points behind all the lectures, the rules, and the motives.
5. It is the mean mommies of the world that are actually not mean at all, but love their children to a fault and want nothing but the best for them. Out of this love, what is initially perceived as “mean” is really imagination, hope, vision, and desire.

So, I salute all the “mean mommies” of the world and say, keep doing what you’re doing. It pays off, and in the end, our children will look back on us and their undying love will spill out as they realize we weren’t mean at all, but simply being a Great Mom! So, laugh out loud, and enjoy your children today!