Inspect What You Expect

I remember being a mid-twenty something sitting in a relatively warm church hearing the words, "inspect what you expect." At first, it seemed to only have relevance for that particular message. It was not until later that my husband kept repeating the same words to me when I got disappointed by someone who I had asked to do something and they had either not completed the task, or it was not up to the standard I expected or knew they were capable. He just uttered "inspect what you expect." In my brain, if I show you how to do a thing, then watch you do it once or twice, and you say, you understand, I believe we're good and I don't have to micromanage the task or the person.

Just this past week, I had to "inspect what I expected." However, this time, it was from the smallest members of our household. They had been given a task to perform and little did I know, they did their rendition of the task, but it was way below the standard that was set. I am still learning that I have to "inspect what I expect" and not feel like it is micromanaging or showing a lack of confidence. I guess, it's something that I just have to deal with and get over.

In reality, we all give our children tasks that we know they are capable of achieving with proficiency. What is our reaction when they fail to perform to the level of our expectations? Do we yell, shake our heads in disbelief, or take the time to show them how to properly do it? Do we check on our children with regularity to ensure that they have an understanding of what is being asked? Have we taught our children to ask for help when they need it? Have we taught that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of a truly intelligent person who wants to get better and show a mastery of what they have been given? Have we linked our expectations with a character trait that is quantifiable and has the ability to produce amazing adults?

Is this all to deep? I hope not, because if I am confronted with this little piece of normalcy, I am sure other parents are as well. Hopefully, we all respond that we are thinking of the future and not just the present. We are teaching our children how to be self-sufficient and to value certain traits such as dedication, honoring standards set and exceeding them, and learning to ask for help to do their best. At the end of the day, we have to "inspect what we expect" until it is shown and proven with consistency that the person has a mastery of the task being performed.

After exhaling, reaffirming my intentions, and demonstrating what was expected, I laughed out loud, and enjoyed yet another life lesson with my children! I invite you to do the same.